The Problem With Canadians

So, I put a ridiculous survey on this blog (just over there to the right) and have been pleasantly surprised to discover that five whole people have actually taken the time to vote. That's tremendous! However, I have been greatly disturbed that no one has chosen the last answer, which was to blame it on those sneaky quiet Canadians. Can't anyone besides me see this is exactly what they want?

I am sure the American Empire will fall. Just like the Roman Empire did. Just like the British Empire has waned. America (and when I say America, of course I mean just the United States of America, not our bitches, South America, Central America, Canada and Mexico) too will fall. Today there are numerous credible threats to our domination: China, Russia, Islamic Fundamentalists, rogue nuclear states, dumpy North Korean leaders. But there is one in particular which is more threatening than the others; one that is successfully undermining our superiority without us even noticing: The Canadians. Those sneaky, underhanded, insidious, clandestine, Machiavellian, serpentine, furtive, slippery, vile, iniquitous, wicked, sinister, but very polite Canadians.

Have they brainwashed us so completely, that we refuse to even pick on them in a meaningless blog survey?

So, I just want you to realize that when a good ol' ham sandwich becomes a Canadian Bacon sandwich, you'll have no one to blame but yourselves. It may already be too late, eh?